Posted by: endithinks | April 18, 2008

On Performance Reviews

I got my first performance review yesterday and I was not nervous, just a bit removed.  I don’t like performance reviews.  I don’t like being told that I am doing a great job and that my students love me.  I’m the type that just wants to know the areas i need to improve on.  I’m a get in get out type of person.

Now it is nice tohear praise and all that, but for me I get my satisfaction from the actual work that I am doing.  I respond to one on one compliments but I don’t like canned type of praise.  I want to know how I can be a better instructor.  What can I do to improve?  These are the questions that drive me to constantly be better for my students and for myself.

I have finally made a decision about what I want to pursue in graduation studies.  I want to be a professor.  I absolutely love teaching and teaching adults is such a wonderful experience even with a somewhat limited curriculum I can’t imagine how satisfying it will be when I can choose my own topics on which to base a class.  Now the question is what do I want to teach?

This question is so important because before when I earned my B.A. I went with the “logical” and “safe” decision, English.  Now I love me some English, but it was not really my passion.  My passion is too varied to be catergorized, but I would put it more into the realm of social science, history and philanthropic work.  So why did I choose English?  Well it is a topic where the subject does not matter it is the process that is being taught.  I could choose as my subject material any discipline I wanted as long as people could understand what a clause was or how to correctly make a bibliography.

My logic was basically i could expose my students to the wonders that are out there in a varied and not so subtle way with readings from great writers in history, social commentary, speeches, poetry and music.  I could bring them letters from our founding fathers, poems from lovers across the fence in war torn countries, and finally help them realize why novels like Huck Finn and To Kill A Mockingbird are classics.  I would pepper them with literature and writing from all over the human cosmos. 

But instead I realized that is not what I wanted to do.  I did not want to slash through comma splices, I did not want to correct grammar and correct annunciation (notice the comma splice here hehe).  I wanted to do more to explore.

So my decision will be based on not only logic this time, but also heart.

Go Captain Planet.



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